It's Definitely Not Stonkers! Retro
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Lovingly amateur recreations of games that were already perfect. You're welcome.

games
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Perfect Alignment
Drop tiles on top of each other as precisely as you can. Miss the edge and it chips away. How high can you stack?
one button play →
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Jumping Jack
Jump through the moving gaps to reach the top — every good jump opens another gap, and the hazards keep coming. Based on Imagine's 1983 ZX Spectrum classic.
one button play →
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Jack Attack
Push and pull blocks to squash the bouncing heads. Based on the 1983 Commodore 64 classic by Kevin Kieller and John Traynor — all 64 levels.
arcade play →
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Space Invaders
Defend Earth from the descending alien fleet. Based on the 1978 Taito arcade classic.
arcade play →
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Penetrator
Fly through enemy caverns and bomb the neutron base. Based on Beam Software's 1982 ZX Spectrum classic.
arcade play →
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Splat!
Survive the shifting maze. Based on Incentive Software's 1983 ZX Spectrum oddity.
arcade play →
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The Train Game
Throw the points, stop for passengers and keep three trains from crashing. Based on Microsphere's 1983 ZX Spectrum classic.
puzzle play →
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Missile Invader
Open the box, flick the power switch and spend your 50 missiles wisely. Based on Bandai's 1980 LED handheld, with a glowing full-screen LED mode.
handheld play →
hall of fame
perfect alignment
jumping jack
jack attack
space invaders
penetrator
splat!
train game
missile invader
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about

What is this?

A hobby project. Nobody commissioned this. Nobody asked for it. We just really like old games and wanted to see if we could rebuild them in a browser.

Some of the originals are classics that defined a generation of computing. These are lovingly amateur recreations of them. They were already perfect — we just couldn't help ourselves.

Part of the It's Definitely Not Stonkers! universe — a YouTube channel dedicated to movies, games, and general nonsense. The games here are free, ad-free, and made purely for fun.

8 games available
— scores submitted
1 button needed
∞ hours wasted